Make Noise and Take Up Space


I want to strike the phrase, “I am sorry” from the feminine vocabulary. Each time I hear this apologetic idiom slide out of a woman’s mouth she is crumpled. She’s embarrassed and shamed by her own needs, her own intensity, by the tears that may be falling , by the very fact that her own state of being is being “too much”. But that being too much is not her own definition. She’s been told, “ If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about”. She’s been told no one will love her if she gets angry. She’s been told to worry about other’s feelings first and disregard her own. She’s been told a lot of lies and its time to change the story.

I catch my own self using the diminutive term when I ask someone to repeat themselves because I have difficulty hearing. I don’t really need to say, “ I am sorry, what did you say?” Do I need to apologize for a genetic issue I was born with? Do I somehow feel less than perfect? Do I feel I am being an such extreme burden for asking to repeat a few words hence the need to apologize first? A simple, “ Could you repeat that” is sufficient isn’t it? Words and language are powerful and when we look at the way we express verbally its good way to see into how we truly feel about ourselves.

Our power as women (and men) lies in our ability to connect our expressiveness with our emotions appropriately. Those three little words. “ I am sorry” when used after we have felt a feeling that’s deep and raw, or touched the rim of our grief, or shed waterfalls of tears throws a wet blanket on the flame of our passion that makes us living , breathing sentient beings. It also keeps us from feeling the full bandwidth of the beautiful joyful feelings. Connecting to what we truly feel and not saying I am sorry is what takes true courage and strength.

#Iamsorry #Womanpower #Makenoise