trees

Determination

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When I look at this tree I feel so much. The picture does it no justice. This enormous tree is growing on top of a boulder… roots splayed and curled around to reach the soil it needs for its development. I’ve seen it many times on my favorite loop around Looking Glass Pond. It is my go to place to do breathing/walking practice. I was having one of those difficult days. Dragging myself there, I was dreading the hour hike along the shore of the pond. I was having a bad case of what I call “ the fuckits” —days when I question everything I am doing in terms of personal growth and want to throw in the towel and quit.. And I looked at this tree, its ontogenesis. When life was difficult for this tree it didn’t say “fuckit, I am on top of a rock I am not going to grow”. There was no way for it to run or hide from the fact that its life was going to be more difficult than the lives of other trees. It utilized every part of its determination to figure out how to make its life work on top of an impossible substrate. I stood there in awe that day. I have a tremendous connection with trees and i felt the resolutness, and the drive that needed to be part of my consciousness again because if we are not growing we are dying. Spending time breathing deeply into the “fuckits” while allowing myself to absorb the energy of the perfectly balanced forest around me was incredibly healing. Such deep gratitude for this tree that was a beacon of inspiration on that difficult day.