Trust and Betrayal
Silhouette of a man throwing a little girl up in the air with the ocean in the background
It seems to happen the moment we are born, the second our souls slide into this incredible density of a body, a separation occurs from the place that was spacious to a place that is not so. Expansiveness to confinement, and with it, the pain of being human. We think, we feel that things will be a certain way, that people will be there for us to coregulate us through difficult times. But we have the nightmare as a child, that awakes us with terror and fright that has our hearts racing…. and we are dismissed…”just a dream, go back to bed, its not real”. And the child is betrayed because the dream was real to her, and the need for comfort is visceral. The moment needs acknowledgement, a deep body felt empathetic understanding but what she got was dismissal that her feelings didn’t exist. The adult wasn’t there for her in a tangible emotional way and the litany of patterning that follows that bad dream because there is never just one incident, there are many, small seemingly innocent threads of words and actions that solidify… “I can’t trust anyone if the main caregiver isn’t getting me, isn’t there for me., doesn’t get what I feel”. So she keeps her feelings safe inside, behind the layer of protection that begins to form. Over decades the protection solidifies more and more, until it is like armour, impenetrable. Years later, she longs for relationship that is deep and fulfilling but somehow can’t manage to get them to work and can’t understand why.
This story could be any one of us. You don’t have to have big traumatic incidents in your life to have trauma responses running your life.
Need assistance with your trauma repsonses? Eileen is an alternative healer who has completed 16 vision quests enabling her to be a clear and effective conduit for your personal growth. She has worked with somatic breathwork practices since 2014 and is a certified Unified Mindfulness Coach
Contact Eileen@relaxandexpand.com